By Eric Conn
Washington State Department of Fish and Wildlife officials appear to have solved the “case of the headless bucks.” After months of investigations regarding the discovery of 10 headless buck carcasses in the Okanogan area, state wildlife officers finally busted the responsible party, which they say is a group of related individuals all working together to spotlight and poach trophy deer.
You could say they forgot to use their heads, the success then went to their heads, they lost their heads and now heads are gonna roll. So many head jokes, so little time.
“This was a poaching ring, and spree killing,” wildlife supervisor Jim Brown told the Wenatchee World. “All of the suspects in this case know each other. They’re interrelated, and doing this together, or as part of a common scheme.”
Wildlife officers executed search warrants last week and found the heads all stacked neatly in a pile. So far a 24-year-old man has been arrested in connection with the case, while more arrests are likely on the way. State officials began investigating the poaching ring last November after multiple residents reported headless deer carcasses left to rot.
The biggest travesty of all became apparent when wildlife officers loaded up the trophy deer heads in a public parking lot. Local residents stopped to take a look at the trophies they could have hunted legally if not for the ring of headless criminals. While the impact of losing 10 trophy bucks from the local gene pool can’t be easily repaid, the poachers face a $6,000 fine for each buck they killed.
Sticking with the head-related theme these headless idiots left us with, we’re presenting them with the “Off With Your Head” Award, because they clearly don’t have any use for them.